Popsicles. Picnics. Camping trips. Fireworks. Swimming. Long days in the sun. What do you and your family like to do in the summertime? While both structured and unstructured time are beneficial for children, research actually shows that quality family time is among the most beneficial activities that families can engage in anytime of the year. …
Can you remember a time when a discussion with your partner escalated without warning to a blowup, followed by distance? UCLA researcher and psychologist, Dr. Thomas Bradbury, uses the term “enduring vulnerabilities” to describe sensitivities we develop, often in childhood. These vulnerabilities can trigger strong reactions in adulthood. Knowing our sensitivities, and our partner’s, can …
Today I wanted to share a book series I often recommend to parents to do with their children. One population I enjoy working with immensely is children. One reason I love kids is because they are concrete learners. So when it comes to learning therapeutic skills, almost more than any other population, there has …
Do you ever miss the spontaneity from the early days of your relationship, or wonder why it doesn’t work out when you try it anymore? The longer relationships last, the more likely it is that spontaneity will decrease, or that when you try to be spontaneous it won’t work out as intended. This might be …
Have you ever heard a couple say proudly, “We’ve never had an argument.” Many couples assume that the goal in relationships is to not fight. However, setting this goal is expecting a lot of yourself. You and your spouse are human and are going to do or say things that might hurt or make the …
Most of us recall the old Simon and Garfunkel hit “I am a Rock,” where the singer describes living a contented life isolated from others. Toward the end of the song the tempo slows considerably as the subject of the song expresses “And a rock feels no pain; And an island never cries.” We all …
Each of us feel love differently; and according to Gary Chapman, there are five main ways that people feel love. Children are no exception. They each have a need to be loved in their love language. Once we are able to understand what our child’s main love language is, then we are better able to channel our efforts using that particular love …
Dr. John Gottman uses The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse as a metaphor to describe unhelpful and destructive communication styles. Gottman contends that using these four styles of communication harm our relationships. Relationships are not doomed because partners quarrel. Gottman’s research shows that happy couples argue, but they argue in ways that avoid The Four …
When pain comes into our human lives we know that women, more than men (speaking statistically and categorically) feel more comfortable seeking the support of a counselor. We also know that men are comfortable expressing a limited range of emotions. While women tend to seek support more freely and feel more free to express themselves …
This question is one we often ask our spouse or our kids when we see them at the end of the day but how effective is it at really helping us connect? Dr. John Gottman suggests a formula for this type of conversation that will help reduce stress and feel more connected in our relationships. …
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