Do you let your eyes wander? Do you negatively compare your spouse to other attractive people? Do you do a double-take and check out that attractive person again? Are you interacting excessively or inappropriately with another person you feel some level of attraction toward?

I read some disturbing statistics today. According to a study by David Atkins at the University if Washington, infidelity for young people (under the age of 30) has increased significantly since the early 1990s. His study showed that infidelity has increased by 20% for women and 45% for men. I have noticed an increase in infidelity cases coming into my office. I help many repair the damage, but, it is not easy. Many experts think that the increasing trends of infidelity are largely influenced by technological advances that make it easier for people to connect, interact with, and emotionally to people that they are attracted to. Historically many may have avoided the pitfall of infidelity because it was just too complicated to make it happen. However, secret email and social media accounts, second cell phones, smartphones and tablets constantly on hand, and a host of websites that make it easy to cheat have made it easier for people to slip.

Though technology and other factors may make it easier to cheat, personal decision making is still the ultimate culprit. If you make your spouse or significant other the most important thing in your life, you won’t cheat. If you make your own desires, lusts, or self-rationalized sexual needs more important than the needs and desires of your significant other, you are setting yourself up for danger. To avoid this:

• Don’t talk excessively to anyone that you feel any attraction to.
• Don’t friend them on Facebook.
• Don’t send them texts.
• Don’t send them pictures.
• Don’t send them emails.
• Don’t let your eyes wander.

If something feels lacking in your current relationship, don’t look to replace your significant other. Instead, re-invest your energies toward your significant other. That which you put your energies toward become more important. You may also benefit from couples counseling help from a qualified and competent couples therapist.