We all get to a point of emotional instability, and I am referring to when our emotions are too much for us to handle in the moment. John Gottman refers to this as emotional flooding, when we are overwhelmed and emotions take over our logic. Studies have shown that our brains start to shut down when we are emotionally flooded making it hard for us to to slow down and think about what we are saying. When we are stressed our fight or flight response is triggered in the brain and we tend to respond to others in this  kind of way. Now add in anger and the responses become hurtful and there is a sense of protection of self. The damage done in these moment are usually remembered and there is pain. 

Usually we don’t mean to hurt those we love, but with emotional reactions we lose sight of what we are really trying to communicate. There is the saying “Don’t go to bed angry” This is just not true. If you are angry and trying to resolve an issue, take a break and come back to it. When you are emotionally heightened it is wise to get yourself to calm down and under control. That could take 10 mins to the next day to calm down, but it is imperative to recognize it and get control over it. Don’t let a moment of emotional response create a long term hurt that you will have to spend time trying to heal.