In the past I always found it difficult to help others who have gone through a loss, and know what to do to help. My default responses have always been “I am sorry for your loss” or “Let us know if there is anything we can do” and other responses. I wonder how much traction those comments give and I feel like I have left them with not much to work with.

Here are some suggestion that I have found helpful

• Be with the person
• Sit in silence, do not pressure them to talk, they will talk when they are ready
• Let them be sad, this is a sad time and that’s ok
• Be there and be consistent, they will need you more three months later than at the time of the death.

When we lose someone in our lives we have to adjust and changes that are made can be hard to take emotionally. One of the biggest changes are expectations for the future and those are some of the hardest things to hold onto.  I like to compare losing someone to holding onto two balloons one being memories from the past and the other looking forward to the future. When we refuse to let go of what we could have had with that person, pain will follow as long as we are holding onto that balloon. Once we begin to letting go of things that are never going to happen, the hurt will start to heal and we can continue moving forward. That being said, we never have to let go of the balloon that  hold memories from the past, and this balloon should be cherished and held onto.  This balloon holds fun memories, good qualities of that person, and things that do not have to be forgotten or let go of. This should be focused on to relieve the pain of the loss and bring comfort to a person in need of love. Loss is hard but there are things we can do to help one another and relieve the pain that is felt.