A renowned cardiac surgeon once gave a speech about the mitral valve, one of  four valves in our heart and the one that is responsible for blood flow from our lungs to our hearts.  He discussed the importance of the structural integrity of this valve, stating that if one of the cords attached to the mitral valve were to rupture, the valve then wouldn’t be able to properly open and close, putting both the lungs and the heart at risk of failure.

So it is with our integrity.  Our integrity is made up of many things, the way we choose to live our lives as well as the way we treat those around us.  But just like the mitral valve in our hearts, if we stop doing any or all of the little  things that make up our integrity, we are at risk of losing that quality in our own life and certainly in our relationships.  Here are a few things that you can do to make sure that you continue to show integrity in your marriage:

1.   Make up your mind now what you’re going to do before you’re faced with a difficult choice.  Too often we may find ourselves in compromising situations, places that may be contrary to our values.  Decide now what you’ll do rather than waiting until it happens.  Too often it can be hard to make the right choice when we’ve allowed ourselves to entertain the possibilities.  Remember that your marriage always comes first.

2.  Assess how you are doing with your integrity on a regular basis.  In today’s world, with so many things pulling us in different directions, it can be easy to lose focus of what is most important to us.  Ask yourself questions like these:  Do I remember and honor my marriage vows and promises?  Do I keep my word to my spouse and can I be trusted?  How do I act when no one is looking?

3.  Serve your spouse and make tending to their needs a priority.  Be imaginative and creative in the ways that you can meet your partner’s needs.  Remember that the main cause of problems in relationships is selfishness:  being unwilling to put your spouse’s needs first.

When we are striving to live a life that is in line with our values, we are living a life of integrity.  What better quality to show in our marriages than this willingness to treat our spouse with honesty, decency and honor.