On December 1, 1862, in a letter to congress, President Abraham Lincoln said “We can succeed only by concert. It is not ‘can any of us imagine better?’ but, ‘can we all do better?’ The dogmas of the quiet past, are inadequate to the stormy present. The occasion is piled high with difficulty, and we must rise — with the occasion. As our case is new, so we must think anew, and act anew. We must disenthrall ourselves, and then we shall save our country.”
There are a few key words I would like to point out that I believe are important to the success of relationships in today’s world. Relationships can “succeed only by concert” The word concert means to plan or act together or jointly. Both in the relationship need to think anew and act anew together. It needs to be a joint effort. Abraham Lincoln said “we shall save”, not “I” or “you.” If a relationship is going to succeed it requires both people to engage in changing the relationship
In this joint effort, couples need to disenthrall themselves and their partner. Disenthrall means to free from bondage or liberate. As you disenthrall yourselves from anger and resentment, from addiction, from selfishness, from entitlement, and a host of other problems that are detrimental to relationships, you will find that you are more likely to save your marriage or your relationship.
If your relationship is failing or if your relationship is “piled high with difficulty,” both in the relationship need to “rise – with the occasion and “think anew” and “act anew”. Instead of “imagining better” both in the relationship need to “do better.” It is easy to fall into the trap of imagining a better relationship with someone else, but a new relationship will likely run into the same challenges as your current relationship.
Decide today to work together to free your relationship from the way that you have been doing things in the past. If you are having difficulties in working together, seek the help of a relationship expert.