As the weather warms up and we all start to clean out the junk from our homes that has settled all winter, why not also clean up your romantic relationship? I am often surprised when my wife and I start our spring cleaning at home. We often look at each other and say “why did we save that?” or “where did that come from?” With a real thorough look at your relationship you too might find something that will make you ask where that came from or why you held onto that resentment issue. Relationships need regular maintenance, just like our homes and gardens.

You might ask, how do we know if our marriage or romantic relationship needs a cleaning? Consider these 10 questions to assess the relationship cleaning needs you and your significant other may have:

1. Do you feel any resentment toward your spouse/partner?
2. Do you find yourself rolling your eyes at your spouse/partner?
3. Do you struggle to overcome disagreements?
4. Do you hide some things from your spouse/partner because you worry how they will react?
5. Do you feel that the spark that existed in your relationship is dwindling?
6. Do you feel that between parenting, work, volunteer activities, etc. that there just isn’t as much time for your relationship as you would like?
7. Has it been more than 2 weeks since you went on a date with your spouse/partner?
8. Do you talk negatively about your spouse/partner?
9. Do you wish your sexual relationship was better?
10. Do you and your significant other have disagreements regarding parenting and/or money decisions?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, you could likely benefit from a relationship cleaning. Most couples that come to us for assistance had minor issues crop up that they didn’t address early. Over time they become more and more problematic. Cleaning up these issues early, just as you do with your home each year, will help you maintain a healthy, satisfying, resentment-free relationship. A little cleaning now could save you a lot of trouble later.