Do you get at least 15 minutes of un-interrupted time to talk as a couple every day? Do you get any uninterrupted time to talk? Most couples that come into the Swinton Counseling office to receive couples therapy don’t make time to talk. Most try to explain to me that they don’t have time. They list the many commitments they have that make it unrealistic to make that kind of time for each other every day. The list of commitments typically include things such as their child’s sports teams, yoga classes, PTA meetings, work responsibilities, music lessons, volunteer responsibilities, a plethora of household responsibilities, preparing meals, etc. This lists seem overwhelming when they are presented to me. My heart goes out to couples who give so much of themselves to provide such comprehensive help to their children, communities, and employers. As a father, husband, and employer myself, I feel I can relate to may of these struggles. The reality is, there are simply not enough hours in each day to do all that would be beneficial for us to do.
I work with many couples that are able to adjust their priorities to ensure they get some one-on-one time every day. My wife and I have made adjustments from time to time to ensure we get one-on-one time ourselves. The key is recognizing that making some time for your couple relationship every day is worth the sacrifice of other priorities. Keeping your relationship strong will help you be a better parent, employee, volunteer, and individual. The time spent together will offset the hit the other priorities may incur because you will be in better emotional shape to handle the other priorities if your marriage is strong.
A great starting point is to isolate 15 minutes a day to talk with your spouse or partner. Put away the cell phones, tablets, laundry, and other demands. They can wait 15 minutes. You may think your spouse can wait the 15 minutes. However, many ask their spouse to be the one to wait consistently. Make each other the priority that is needed to maintain healthy daily connection.
