We all have times of hardship in our relationships. Difficult times come into many marriages, families, parenting, and even relationships with friends and co-workers. These times can vary in their severity, length, and occurrence. While one couple is struggling with their marriage, another family may be stressed about their children while another is fighting with their in-laws.

While it is normal for hard times to come and go and for everyone to feel distressed at some point in life (or many points) it can make life more difficult usually bringing on negative thoughts and feelings that take over our minds which then sometimes flood over into our other relationships. When we are being pushed to our emotional limits it can be extremely hard to not let this happen and it has happened for many of us.

So how do make these situations not take over our lives and other relationships?

It is not the easiest thing to do and is definitely easier said than done but one thing to do is to pay more attention to the positive things happening. This doesn’t mean that our problems will be solved and that we will be stress free but it can help in getting through these hard times. When we are distressed and negative emotions are engulfing us, try to find the positive emotions within and see the good in the relationship or the person. Instead of keeping track or adding to the list of the things you don’t like or haven’t done, make a list of the things you have done and do!

Look at the good qualities in your spouse or partner. Think about what it is that attracted you to them in the beginning. Focus on the good things that have happened in your relationship and the happy times you have shared.

Try to find the good behaviors in your child. Let them know the good things you see in them. Help them to think about the positives from maybe a bad situation or a mistake they have made. Talk in front of them about the good things you feel in your life instead of just the things going wrong. Children often mimic parent’s thought process and display of emotions.

Watch for the positive things happening around you and in your life. At times, this is extremely difficult to do and in some situations the hard times might need the help of a marriage or family therapist. When you do find the positives, let those flood you and overflow into your relationships