Many of us struggle with change, or rather we struggle with what we consider to be a bad change. I have yet to hear of someone (at the time) becoming upset because they won the lottery; yet, some changes are so unnerving they can leave us with physical symptoms such as loss of sleep or appetite, anxiety, depression and more.

According to Harvard Business Review, there are ten reasons why people hate change. These include:

Loss of Control-Can interfere with your choices

Excess Uncertainty-Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t know

People dislike surprises-Secretly imposed decisions

Things seem different-Creatures of habit

Loss of face-“Improving” your idea

Concerns-Can I do it?

Means more work-Often unanticipated glitches

Ripple Effects-Problems can reach further than expected

Past resentments-New change can open old wounds

Real threat-job loss, death, etc.

The thing is, there is such thing as good change; however, in regards to relationships, most of this change doesn’t happen overnight. This can be frustrating for both parties. If you’re the one trying to make changes for the better, you can feel beat up on. We all have flaws and most of us do not appreciate having them pointed out, nor does it feel good to accept there are things we should do to better ourselves.

If you find yourself becoming symptomatic or reactive to certain things or maybe you recognize certain triggers that send you into bouts of depression of anxiety, there are several options out there. Traditional therapy, or couples therapy if you’re having relationship issues, can be very helpful. EMDR therapy, a particular type of therapy, might also be a good option for you if you are having a difficult time letting go of the past. It helps many process the traumas associated with such triggers and is offered by many therapists.

So remember, the next time you know someone is working on making positive changes, give them a break, and give yourself a break as well. Change is good!