A Marriage Counselor’s Opinion of Valentine’s Day

Today is Valentine’s Day. What is your opinion of Valentine’s Day? I often have clients who attend marriage counseling in Salt Lake City, Utah inquire regarding my opinion of Valentine’s Day. Many don’t like it because it feels like it was created by the card and candy companies as a means to just pad their revenue. While that may be true, I think that just about any reason we can use to be prompted to make our relationships with a spouse or significant other is a good reason. Look past the commercial façade and focus on helping your spouse feel special.

If you want to feel love for your spouse and you want to help her/him feel that love, what better way than by making a fuss over him/her on Valentine’s Day. What should you do? Do something that the other would find meaningful. If they would appreciate the typical Valentine’s gifts of flowers and chocolates, do it. If they would find more meaning from something else (like cleaning the house for them, surprising them with lunch, writing a heartfelt card, or getting them a framed photograph of the two of you), then do that. You don’t need to overthink it, just put your heart into it.

This doesn’t mean you should only do things meaningful one day a year. If that is the case, resentment may actually follow if this is the only day you make your spouse feel special. Instead, let this day remind you that you should find ways to express your love and appreciation for your spouse on a regular basis. Do meaningful things for them each week. When you do, Valentine’s Day may feel like an natural extension of the already-established demonstrations of love and appreciation that are the foundation of a healthy relationship.