Blended families are created after divorced parents marry new spouses. Many times both parents bring to the marriage kids from previous relationships, as well as any children they may have together. In my experience working with families that are facing this challenge of raising they own kids and their new spouse’s children all together, I have observed different pieces that are important to address in order to understand this type of family structure.

One of the main struggles for many families are the decisions regarding discipline. I have seen parents with different discipline styles, as one parent might be more relaxed, lenient, and laidback and the other may be more rigid and strict. These differences can create confusion and the children can suffer from parental inconsistency.

Another big factor to be considered is the family’s ability to set regular schedules. It is often difficult trying to accommodate sports teams, school activities and any other extracurricular lessons. On top of that, some parents have to work out other’s parents (former spouses) visits, and custody schedule. At this point it is important to establish some kind of family consistency, routines, and rituals that can give the kids a sense of family unity and a sense of belonging.

Sharing the space available at their new place can be challenging as well. Most likely one family moves into the other’s home, which can tap into territorial issues for each member of the family that can trigger fights and stress. Additionally, chore assignments can be difficult to accomplish if one parent diligently assigns household jobs to his or her children and the other lacks consistency. Resentment between step siblings can arise. Balancing jobs and activities is important to create a healthy, and collaborative environment.

If you find yourself struggling making the right decisions for your spouse and children, there is hope and solutions to your concerns. Consult with our relationship experts at Swinton Counseling.