There are two “V” skills that every couple should learn together:
- How to be vulnerable with each other.
- How to validate each other.
Vulnerable:
If there is one person that you should be able to feel vulnerable with, it is your spouse/partner. They re the person who should be your first call when something difficult, horrible, exciting, or boring happens. You should want to share the experience with them. That is why vulnerability is so important. It facilitates sharing in the experience of the one you love.
Validate:
When we become vulnerable in relationships, that vulnerability must be carefully cared-for. Validation with care is key to leveraging the vulnerability into a shared experience. To validate, focus on helping your spouse feel emotionally safe. Help them feel that you care more about helping them feel heard and understood than being heard or understood yourself. Help them feel what you hope to feel when you become vulnerable.
Learning to be vulnerable and validate each other in a relationship is essential to the long-term health of the relationship and to the individual well-being of each partner. If you struggle with this or need some help, seek couples counseling from a relationship expert. It might be the key you and you need.
