Sometimes in relationships when we have become comfortable with each other, as time has passed, we forget how to show to our partners how much we care about them, our relationship and our appreciation for them. When this happens it is a lot easier to begin losing the emotional connection with our spouse which can then make it easier for a wedge to come between us and before long, we look back and wonder how we got to this point and sometimes, how it led to being in marriage counseling.

How can you remedy this or prevent it from happening?

By showing your spouse you appreciate them, they will feel your love and care for them and for your marriage. As they feel this, they will be happier and they will want to make sure you feel their love and care and your marriage then blossoms.

One key in showing appreciation for your spouse is doing so in a way that they can see, hear or know that this is what you are saying. You might feel appreciated for if your spouse cleans the bathroom while you’re away or takes time away from their busy schedule to spend a Saturday afternoon with you but if you do those things to show your appreciation, your spouse might not receive the same message you would. Find what makes your spouse feel appreciated which might require asking them and that is okay. It’s better to know then to guess.

Ways to show your spouse appreciation:

• Use your words– when you feel love, happiness, gratefulness, care, appreciation, etc. for your partner… tell them! Tell them every day something you love about them or something you appreciate about them.

• Actions- find the physical things and behaviors that tells your partner you appreciate them and do more of it! Try to do something every day. If we are saying and doing something every day there is a lot smaller chance of a wedge making itself into your marriage.

• Around others (family, friends, co-workers, etc) always speak positively and highly of your spouse. This will do a few things – 1- lets others know that you appreciate your partner 2- lets your partner know you appreciate them as they hear you talking or if the person says something to them and 3- helps you to focus on the positive things instead of focusing on the negative things making it easier to create more positive feelings.

Show your spouse your appreciation, love & care for them and your marriage as often as you can. You will often find positive changes in your relationship when this happens. If you and your spouse are struggling or unable to do this, it might be time to seek out help from a marriage therapist.