One thing that has stuck out to me as a therapist is how often anger comes up as a response to anxiety or fear. I have found a lot of clients become reactive when something is said or done that strikes a nerve with their own fears and anxieties.

Some of us have a more inward response to anger. It can manifest itself as depression, anxiety, frustration, guilt and other unpleasant characteristics. Some of us struggle with outward anger responses and blow up or have difficulty losing our tempers.

One thing to consider is where is this anger coming from? Why is this situation evoking such a negative response from me? Am I directing it appropriately? Or am I being reactive and blaming others who are not a part of the issue?

An object lesson that has always stuck with me:

Take a plate and throw it on the ground. Did it break?

Yes

Now say sorry to it

Sorry

Did it go back to the way it was before?

No

Does it make sense now?

We cannot take back the things we say. While holding a grudge is not productive, it would always be easiest to not get to that point. Let’s be careful about how we speak to one another and accept issues that are ours and exercise empathy for others with their’s.

If you’re struggling with anger, or maybe forgiveness, seek out counsel from someone you trust. If this is an issue you’ve been dealing with for quite some time, it may require professional assistance. Therapy can help you develop appropriate coping mechanisms and get you back on track to being the person you want to be. You can do this and words don’t have to hurt you.