Most couples have issues or concerns in their relationship at some point. How a couple addresses the issue or whether they address it at all is key. Many times there is the proverbial “elephant in the room” but neither party is willing or able to talk about it. It may help to know that having the courage to broach the subject is sometimes harder than actually having the conversation. It may also help to know that taking that first step to address issues often pays off in a big way.

So how do you muster the courage to take that step? First, take a look at why you have been avoiding the issue. Is it because you are trying to protect yourself? This is a common reason people avoid certain issues. You may be afraid of being rejected, misunderstood or hurt. However, when you avoid opportunities to be vulnerable and open with your partner, you are missing out on an opportunity to build emotional connection and intimacy.

If you find you are avoiding conversations because you are trying to protect yourself, reach out for help. Some couples may not have the skills they need to listen to each other and create a safe environment for sharing vulnerable moments with each other. If you feel you and your partner have begun to distance yourselves emotionally and have been consistently avoiding addressing issues, you may benefit from marriage counseling. Your counselor can help create that safe environment and coach you through the skills it takes to address the issues you’ve been avoiding in your relationship.

Avoiding issues can create distance and dissatisfaction in your relationship. However, remember that having the courage to take the first step to address the issue might be the hardest part and the benefit of building intimacy in your relation will pay off.