Summer is right around the corner and the kids can’t wait. If your kids are like mine, they get along great the first couple of days (or minutes) but then spending so much time together leads to arguing. Often, I feel I have to jump in and help them solve their disagreements but this summer, I’m giving them the tools to resolve their own conflicts. Tonight we sat down and discussed these 8 strategies for resolving their own conflicts:

1. Avoid. Decide that the issue isn’t worth arguing about and just let it go.
2. Ask for help. Sometimes they can’t figure it out themselves, and it’s okay to ask someone for ideas on how to solve the problem.
3. Apologize. Being humble enough to apologize to each other for fighting can often deescalate the situation.
4. Chance. Leave it up to chance and toss a coin to see who gets to choose.
5. Laugh. Being able to laugh at ourselves can help avoid hurt feelings or realizing that the thing they are arguing about really is silly can resolve the conflict.
6. Share. This is a classic one but one of the harder ones, especially for younger kids.
7. Taking turns. Using a timer to make it fair can nip the disagreements in the bud.
8. Compromise. My kids like to call this a win-win. They each get part of what they want but realize they have to give up something to meet the other person’s needs too.

To help my kids really understand the concepts, we gave examples of common disagreements that come up in our house and then let them choose a strategy and talk about how they would resolve it. I was surprised at how quickly they picked it up. The plan is when they begin arguing, we will send them to the list of strategies we posted on the fridge and let them figure out a way to resolve it. I know I can’t avoid the fighting that comes with being around each other too much this summer, but I’m excited to let my kids learn how to resolve the conflicts themselves. They will feel more empowered and I will feel more relaxed…hopefully!