Infertility is a life crisis for the 1 in 10 couples who face it. It is characterized by the feeling that your life and body are out of control or somehow a loss and a failure.

For couples who experience the difficulty of building a family there are many unique challenges. Many couples experience difficulty as they interact with the “fertile” world. Relationships that are treasured often end up being the source of pain. Health intimacy can crumble and feel like a painful reminder of their broken dreams. The road ahead of options can be a difficult one that brings exhaustion and a sense of intruded privacy.

Many couples seek support. One great place to seek support is with the group RESOLVE. Its local chapters offer peer support for the unique challenges that infertility brings.

For many, the support of their loved one, spouse, and a group of understanding people is enough. For others it is not. Here are the signs that you and your partner could benefit from seeking marriage or individual counseling for infertility*:

• You see signs of depression
  • persistent sadness, guilt, worthlessness
  • change in appetite or sleeping habits
  • loss of interest in activities normally enjoy
  • thoughts about death, hurting yourself, or suicide
• Anxiety and agitation
• Significant Ups and Downs
• Preoccupation with infertility
• Increased use of substances
• Feeling stuck in one feeling like rage, envy, guilt, or a sense of being out of control
• Feeling perturbed about issues you thought were resolved
  • like your parents divorce
  • a death of a loved one
  • other issues you have no control over

If you or your spouse decide to seek the professional support of a counselor, look for a counselor with whom you feel comfortable sharing your feelings. Find a counselor who has experience and who is able to understand your goals in therapy.

If your spouse does not wish to attend counseling with you,  attend for yourself. While counseling as a couple is often helpful, counseling can still be extremely beneficial if done on an individual basis. It is important to fill your life with the support and care you need.

Take control of taking care of yourself! If you have other questions about if counseling would be beneficial to you, do some homework and be in touch with a counselor with your concerns.

*signs are listed by the National Infertility Association