Think about the people you have in your life and those you surround yourself with. Many of these people include our family, friends, coworkers, maybe even our kid’s friend’s parent, and our neighbors. We all enjoy having others around to talk to, do things with, rely upon and have fun with. It’s important to have these relationships in your life. We hear of men having guy’s night, poker night and even camping trips and women that have their girl’s night, luncheons or playdates. It is great for us to have people we love sharing our lives with or even sometimes to ‘escape’ life for a couple hours but it is even more important that we don’t let these people take the place of our spouse.
I can honestly say that my spouse is my number one best friend and it saddens me to hear when people don’t think this is possible in their own marriage. This is possible and it should be a goal in every marriage. For some couples this can be a difficult thing to achieve. Connecting on a deeper emotional level is something that can be of focus in marriage counseling if you find your marriage is struggling with this.
Becoming best friends with your spouse is easier to do when you share more of yourself with your spouse than your friends and when you don’t allow others inside your marriage. During times of turmoil, one or both partners might turn to someone outside of the marriage to talk to and for advice. This is a healthy way to respond to difficult times but should be done so cautiously. When we bad mouth our spouse and share the not so good things our spouse might be doing, the person listening can form a negative opinion about our spouse. What happens then when we are happy in our marriage and bring our spouse around this person? Do we want others thinking poorly of our spouse?
Turning towards our spouse and sharing our thoughts, feelings, hopes, dreams, struggles and so much more with them will bring the two of you closer. When your spouse shares these things with you, listen and show them that you care and want to become closer so they know they can always turn to you. In sharing things together, remember to have fun with each other as well. When we can laugh and cry with our spouse, we can create a stronger and healthier relationship.
