It takes two to make a relationship, to break a relationship, and to mend a relationship.  Sometimes it takes a third in the form of a licensed couple’s therapist.  However, that doesn’t mean that there’s nothing you can do on your own to be happier in your relationship.  If you ever wonder, “What can I do to be happier in my marriage?” then this post is for you.

There is a wide range of reasons to be unhappy in your relationship, and you’ve probably already thought of a lot of them.  Whether your partner doesn’t listen the way they used to, or they don’t seem excited to be around you anymore, or after years of marriage you’ve realized you have absolutely nothing in common, the good news is that there is something you can do to find some happiness and peace of mind.  Start a gratitude journal.

If that line is throwing you for a loop, hang in there for a minute.  You’ve done a remarkable job of figuring out what’s going wrong, and that’s given you some direction for what you and your partner can work on.  While you’re working, find some reasons to want to mend things.  At least once a day, write one thing you’re grateful for that your spouse did.  Some days it might be something like, “He/She laughed with me about something one of the kids did,” and other days it might be something like, “He/She didn’t snore last night.”  These don’t need to be big things–the important thing isn’t so much what you write, but that you write something everyday.  It is much easier to put in the work when there’s something good to work for.  Find the good, and write it down.  It’s harder to forget it that way.