For How Parents Can Help Prevent Suicide: Part I click here

As a parent, you may notice that as your child reaches early adolescence that you experience more relationship trouble than you did when he or she was younger. The primary reason for this according to human development expert Erik Erikson is because your child is trying to create an individual ego identity. They are working to become more independent and develop their own ideas and perspectives, which may be different from their parents and cause relationship strife.

Relationships with peers become much more important to your teenager because they feel like their peers can support their identity development. However, an interesting paradox of adolescence is that while a peer group may encourage independence from parents, they may simultaneously demand strict conformity to peer group rules. A battle for allegiance can ensue, and what if they can’t find relief in either place? No matter the reason your child is considering suicide be it physical, personal, family, peer, or community factors, parents want to know how to keep their child safe. I will outline things for parents to do and not to do for effective suicide prevention, which include crisis intervention, safety planning, and support.

Crisis Intervention

#1-If adolescent confides in a parent, friend, or peer group that they are suicidal…

You shouldn’t                        

• End the conversation as quickly as possible and leave.
• Say, “You’re kidding” and not take them seriously.
• Launch into a myriad of reasons why they should want to stay alive.
• Be afraid to let them say anything more as if it would become a possibility if they talked more.

You should

• Allow your son/daughter/friend to express his or her pain and suffering.
• Slow things down and take time with them.
• Remain calm.
• Let him or her tell their story in his or her own way
• Respond with empathy, warmth, and genuineness.

Dr. Anthony Jurich explains that if someone standing on the edge of a cliff with toes over the edge and that for every minute a suicidal adolescent spends talking with someone about why they are feeling how they do it is equal to stepping 1 foot away from the edge. Of course, there is the possibility that they could still run off at anytime, but they are much more safe after a few hours conversation 120 feet from the edge.

#2-As the suicidal adolescent is sharing their thoughts and feelings…

You shouldn’t            

• Assume that they are only seeking attention and dismiss.
• Promise that you will not tell anyone.

You should

• Ask if they have a plan of how they are thinking of doing it.
• Consider if the plan is lethal, well thought out, and detailed.
• Notice body language as well as spoken words.
• Stay with them or have someone stay with them for the evening.
• Seek professional help. If agitation continues call 911, get them to the nearest emergency room, and make and appointment a family therapist.

Keep in mind some research-based statistics as you talk with your child. Adolescents in treatment are much less likely to complete suicide that untreated adolescents. Adolescent males are three times more likely to complete suicide. Adolescent females are 3 times more likely to attempt suicide.

Safety Planning

             As you participate with your child in family therapy and ongoing conversations, you will better understand your child and the stressors that they are dealing with. You will help them feel like they don’t have to fight the battle alone. One of the first interventions that will take place is the development of a safety plan. It is very affirming to a suicidal adolescent that the entire family participates in the safety plan. Families can be extra sets of eyes and ears helping to keep the adolescent safe. Entire families involved can help the adolescent realize the impact of their choices on the whole as well.

Safety plans are a concrete set of steps to take to ensure safety. This may include a commitment to not harm themself, attempt, or commit suicide, a list of people that they can turn to if they started to feel unsafe, things that they can do to cope and self-soothe in a more healthy way, and a commitment to call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room if feeling subsist.

Ongoing Support         

At this point, your child may be through the most acute stressors that lead up to the suicidal ideation or attempt, but they will need some ongoing support. This may be in the from of family therapy until symptoms subsist, medication management with primary care physician, continued love and support from family and friends. In this stage, three main things that need to take place to be preventative of future problems.

• Lessen or eliminate stressors– Know what stressors led up to the crisis and do what you can to lessen the burdens, eliminate problems, and remove pressures.
• Build resources to be resilient and cope– Adolescents need to know what their personalized coping methods are and what they can do to help them through difficult days. They need to develop skills that help them feel competent, confident, control, and connected.
• Change perceptions– In time the adolescent needs to be able to challenge debilitating beliefs, shame, and increase hope.

Adolescent suicide is a real issue that many young people face. As parents become aware of their child’s struggle, know how to intervene with the crisis, plan for safety, and give ongoing support, parents can feel empowered to help their kids make the better choice.