One of the concepts I discuss with those receiving couples counseling is falling in love. I frequently ask them to tell me why they fell for the other when they first got together. They report on things such as:
- Kindness
- Sense of humor
- Connection they felt
- Physical attraction
- Enjoyment of time together
- Similar interests
- How they compliment each other
- Feeling important’
- Similar goals in life
- Etc.
I then ask them to share with me the types of things they did to court each another. They list of things such as:
- Spending significant quality time together
- Lots of talking
- Engaging in fun activities together
- Doing meaningful things for each other
- Etc.
I then follow this with an inquiry regarding how well they are doing now at these courting activities? The typical response demonstrates a lack of effort in some or most of these areas for a substantial period of time. Does this sound like you? Could you and your spouse do more to court each other than you are doing?
The things couples did to fall in love with each other will typically help couples fall in love with each other again. Make a commitment today to court your spouse. Think of the things you did in the past. Think of things you think your spouse would find meaningful from you now. Then, do them. Do them today, tomorrow, and every-day after.
