When someone has done or said something that hurts us, feelings of anger, pain, sadness, rejection and so much more flood our body and especially when that person is our spouse or partner. It is hard to understand how someone you love and someone that loves you could do something to cause some or all of these feelings making it difficult to move forward individually and as a couple.
Unfortunately, this happens more often than people think in a marriage. These words and actions could be anything from hearing our spouse say something hurtful or mean to a trust violation involving secrets, lies and deceit. Fortunately, couples can get through these times. This will require commitment, hard work, forgiveness, love and letting go which some couples are able to work through on their own while some might need to seek help and guidance from marriage counseling.
The main idea that many partners seem to get stuck on is the common saying “forgive and forget”. They often wonder how they will ever be able to forget. If you are trying to forget you will be better off using your time and energy in a different way because of how difficult it is to forget these types of words and behaviors that have caused so many different emotions. More than likely, you will never completely forget. The key difference in getting through such hard times it to “forgive and let go”. Here are some ways to move forward through letting go…
*Let go of feelings and visions of yourself as a victim.
*Let go by taking responsibility for yourself and your own actions.
*Let go by accepting instead of denying.
*Let go by asserting personal power.
*Let go of feelings of resentment.
Forgiving and letting go does not mean you are condoning
what was said or done or that you do not care but instead
it means that you actually care more, want to grow and love more.