Why is change so difficult? It is human nature to resist change. Even if we know we are unhappy, it is difficult push ourselves outside of our comfort zones and try something new. It truly is difficult to let go of what we know and what we are comfortable with. My sister shared a quotes with me today and it got me thinking. The quote is by Rick Godwin, he said, “One reason people resist change is because they focus on what they have to give up instead of what they have to gain. Instead of looking at change as the difficult task it is, why not flip it on its head and focus on all of the possibilities that might lie ahead as a result of change? This new perspective could help provide motivation to make change happen.
There are many areas of our lives in which we could apply this way of thinking: health goals, career performance, financial plans and many others. How might this approach apply to marriage counseling? Think about this first: what do you have to give up to change your relationship with your spouse?
- Being right
- Pride
- The comfort that comes from routine
- Old habits
- Putting your needs first
- Time
What do you have to gain from changing your relationship with your spouse?
- Feeling more connected emotionally
- Better communication
- A sense of security
- Hope for the future
- Satisfying compromises
- Unselfish love
- Happiness
- Trust
I’m sure you could add more to both of those lists. Next time you recognize there is a change that needs to happen in your relationship or other areas of your life, acknowledge the sacrifices you will have to make, but choose to focus on all that you have to gain from putting in the effort to change.
