A week doesn’t go by when I am not asked questions similar to: “Did I marry the right person?”, “Is it possible we are just too incompatible?”, or “What if they are not what I want/need anymore?” Spouses often start to question things when the relationship gets rough. My experience is that there is nothing magical that makes one person more compatible than another for specific people. Of course some have an easier time living with one another’s idiosyncrasies. However, my experience working with couples has shown to me that if two people want their relationship to work, they can make it work. Even if they are very different or very similar to each other. If they are willing to make a commitment to each other – that is enough to carry them through. Now, sometimes we need a little help from something like marriage therapy. But, if the commitment is there, resolving issues is significantly easier.

There is a fantastic quote that I wish I could paint on the wall in the Swinton Counseling office by H.W. Hunter: “Being happily and successfully married is generally not so much a matter of marrying the right person as it is being the right person.” If there was ever a piece of advice that could encapsulate the foundation of a healthy relationship – that is it. Instead of focusing so much on how we think our spouses are not the perfect match for us, we would be better served to do everything we can to be the best match we can be for our spouse. After all, we don’t want them to question if they married the right person.