“I just don’t have time.” Have you ever used that line before? Most of us have. In our modern society, we live busy lives.  Have you ever thought about how many hours you actually have in a day? Today, I listened to a TED talk by Laura Vanderkam about gaining control of our free time. She talked about the numbers and broke it down. She said that we have 168 hours in a week. If we work 40 hours and sleep 8 hours (and who actually gets 8?) we still have 72 extra hours per week. That really made me think about how I spend my time. 72 hours is quite a bit! She suggested that instead of saying “I don’t have time for X,Y or Z,” we should say “I don’t do X, Y or Z because it’s not important to me.”  Laura illustrates her point by saying “I could say that I don’t have time to dust the blinds but if someone offered to pay me $100,000 to do it, I would find time.” Our choices are really what it comes down to when we consider how we spend our time. What things are we choosing to spend our time on first?

This got me thinking about our relationships and our mental well-being. Do we choose to put our marriage or relationship first every day? Do we put taking care of ourselves, including doing things we enjoy, first every day? I know I’m guilty of not consciously making that choice. There have been many times that I have used the excuse that I don’t have time to go on weekly dates with my husband or sit down and play one on one with my kids or take time for my hobbies.  I’m beginning to realize that simply isn’t true. So, I’ve set some goals for myself to gain control of my free time. Here are some tips to help you get started, too:

• Don’t allow yourself to debate in your mind. Too many times, I have a task or something in mind that I want to spend my time on–something that is important to me, but then I debate about it. “Well, I should mop the kitchen floor, though,” or “I’m too tired, I’ll do it later.” I’ve learned that making the decision to do something and then stopping the mind debate helps me keep that thing a priority.
• Write it down. I’ve found that using a planner helps me to see all the tasks I have to do each day and keep it organized, but it also helps me to make sure the important things, like dates or time for hobbies, happen by scheduling them into my week.
• Do a self-inventory. Write down your top five priorities in life. Then, for a day or two, keep a time journal and log what you spend each minute doing. Do your priorities and what you spend your time on match up?

As I begin this challenge to take back control of my time, I know it will send the message to myself and the ones I love that they matter. This will deepen the trust and security in our relationship (including my relationship with myself!). I encourage you to join me in this challenge and see where you can make some changes to make sure you are spending time on the things that really are important to you.