Are you worried about how your children are handling marital conflict? Are you wondering how you can support them when you need so much support yourself? Parents know that their children are affected by their relational conflict, but they may need some ideas as to how to better support their children at the difficult time.
Research has consistently shown that the best outcomes for adolescents and children in marital conflict are the following, in order from best outcomes to worst outcomes for kids.
- Parents who have a healthy and happy marriage
- Parents who have an amicable divorce
- Parents who have an unhealthy and unhappy marriage
- Parents who have a messy and convoluted divorce
Adolescents and children are sensitive to marital conflict and it can be distressing for them not knowing how to help things go better. Sometimes children will act out just to take some of the attention from the conflict among parents. To minimize the impact parents can help now by doing the following:
- Seek professional help to resolve marital conflicts
- Provide predictability and stability in support and routines amid changes
- Minimize stress of watching parents in conflict
- Avoid triangulating and communicating through children and giving them too much responsibility
- Seek mediation rather than divorce attorneys around custody
- No matter the outcome, stay involved in children’s lives
