What do we think of when we hear the word cheerleader? I am sure most of us think of the girls standing on the sidelines, wearing their team colors, cheering for the team “We are #1”, chanting “We want victory” and encouraging the team on “Let’s go! Fight! Fight! Fight!” A cheerleader wants their team to win and even if they do not think the team can, they still show up and cheer them on. So, what is a cheerleader in a marriage? It is not a girl in a skirt with pompoms but a partner supporting their spouse’s hopes, dreams and aspirations. This cheerleader in the marriage stands by their partner, believing in them and encouraging them to not give up on the goals they have set even if they might not see eye to eye. They want their spouse to win and to succeed in the end.
There are many times in our lives that we hear we need to believe in ourselves to succeed. One of my favorite quotes is “If you can imagine it, you can achieve it; if you can dream it, you can become it” by William Arthur Ward. I’m sure we can find countless quotes and inspirational advice on the way we believe in ourselves affects our lives and our happiness. But have we thought about how the way we believe, encourage and support our spouse can affect their levels of happiness and success as well as the success of our marriage?
Providing emotional support for our partner is one way we can be their cheerleader. When they want to talk and vent about something going on that might be bothering them, our cheerleading job is to listen and take their side. There will be times we might not agree with everything they do but knowing they have you on their side will help build their self-confidence and strengthen your relationship.
Supporting our partner’s dreams and goals is another way we can be their cheerleader. We do not have to want the same dreams in order to be supportive of our spouse. We do need to let them know that we understand their dream and show interest in learning more about it. We need to be the person standing on the sideline, cheering them on “Let’s fight for victory”. Even if we might doubt that they will land that job or get the promotion they want, or that they can complete a marathon, or maybe even that they will become the first female president; they need us, standing by them, letting them know we believe in them and that we will help them however we can. Through doing so we can become part of their dreams and life goals adding stronger bonds in our marriages. Dr. John Gottman puts it best stating “acknowledging and respecting each other’s deepest, most personal hopes and dreams is the key to saving and enriching your marriage.”
Be your partner’s cheerleader. Cheer aloud that they can “W-I-N!” Stand by them and show your desire for them to succeed in their hopes, dreams and aspirations.
