Why did you decide to make the appointment for therapy? Why did you keep that appointment and attend the therapy session? Why do you continue to attend therapy?
These are questions I sometimes have clients ask themselves. This is important for them to explore because generally, people go to therapy to create a change in their life. But to create change, a person needs to be aware of the process of change and ready to recognize where they are at in that process.
According to well-known psychotherapist, Steve de Shazer there are three different types of people attending therapy:
- Visitor- You are there because someone told you that you needed to be there… a family member, a spouse, the court, etc. You might not think there is any problem or you don’t feel you have a real problem that needs to be changed.
- Complainant- You are there because you know there is a problem. However, you don’t feel you are part of the problem or responsible for any of the problem. You might see it as others around you need to change… not you.
- Customer- You are there because you recognize there is a problem, you acknowledge your part in the problem and know that you can be part of the solution. You are ready and willing to create the necessary change.
Some people find it therapeutic to be a visitor or complainant. They might be there because they need someone to talk to and that alone makes them feel better. Sometimes it helps to be able to just get it all out and there is nothing wrong with that.
If you are wanting things to be different though… if you are wanting a change in your life, then it might be a good idea to look at the 3 types of people and figure out where you are at and if you are ready to be the customer… if you are ready to make the changes needed to be a part of the solution.
