As the summer months are approaching, many of us are itching to get away on a vacation. Getaways provide a break from everyday life and a chance to recharge. Family vacations are a great opportunity to bond with each other, but I also suggest that sometimes you leave the kids at home! Take a vacation with your spouse, even if it’s just overnight and see what benefits you can reap. Here are a few tips to help your getaway be a successful time to reconnect with one another.
1. Leave distractions at home. Of course, you are leaving one of the big distractors, the kids, at home but think about other things that might distract you from focusing all your attention on each other. Let work emails and phone calls wait until you get home. I would suggest that you even take a break from social media, which can keep you from being fully present with your spouse. Draw boundaries in your thoughts as well. That means taking a break from thinking or stressing about work, the kids, church responsibilities and anything else that might mentally distract you.
2. Get to know each other again. As we go about our daily lives, we sometimes forget to have the simple conversations we used to have with our partners. Ask each other “getting to know you” questions again and see how you can reignite your “spark.” For ideas on questions, check out the “Love Maps” activity on relationship expert, Dr. John Gottman’s institute blog: gottmanblog.com
3. Develop a relationship game plan. While you have your spouse’s total attention, talk about your relationship–the strengths and weaknesses. Do this in a cooperative, non-blaming way and focus on small goals to help get you where you want to be in your marriage. You may want to consider goals such as weekly date nights, a set time each week to discuss issues and review goals, or doing something to improving communication. If you find the weaknesses in your marriage are too much for you to handle, consider seeking the help of a marriage counselor. As you focus on relationship goals, you can work together to be more unified and connected.
Daily stress and routines take a toll on relationships so every marriage needs time for partners to reconnect and focus on each other. Sit down with your spouse and figure out a way to make a vacation with just the two of you work. Make a plan, follow through and remember these tips to make your getaway a successful and rejuvenating experience.
