Two weeks ago, I walked into a room full of people that I know from different moments throughout my life, family and friends. As I saw them, I was reminded of the personal relationship that I have developed with each one of them. The feeling of love permeated my body; I could not stop smiling. I was holding hands with my soon-to-be husband Michael, the man that makes me feel like a treasure. He would randomly squeeze my hand three times in a row while we listened, our secret way to say I love you and respond I love you back discretely. During the ceremony, I looked into his sincere eyes with my own welling-up eyes, and I felt brim with joy. This for me was a pinnacle moment in accessing love, and I am glad for my new capacity.
I thought that I would share 3 lessons I have learned about this most powerful force: Love. Here goes…
- I Am Love
“There is nothing I can lose that will diminish my wholeness, and nothing I can gain that will add to who I am. I am already whole and so is everyone else.” –Deepak Chopra
My worth is not conditional on my behaviors. When bad things happen to me or I make a bad choice, I may feel bad, but I am not bad. It is not my identity. My identity is that I am whole, light, love, and joy. When I feel this, I automatically treat others with that same love and value without conditions.
- I Can Choose to Love Myself
“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all of the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” –Rumi
This idea changes the common objective that many people have from seeking love from outside sources to discovering it within. Knowing this is relieving because love then is no longer dependent on others. If I am love, you may ask, why do I have such a hard time feeling it? It is because through your experiences, you may have built barriers against accessing it and your ability to see your own beauty, wholeness, and humanity.
- Love is a Mechanism to Find Purpose and Meaning
“Love is the only way to grasp another human being in the inner most core of his personality. No one can become fully aware of the very essence of another human being unless he loves him. By his love he is enabled to see the essential traits and features in the beloved person; and even more, he sees that which is potential in him, which is not yet actualized but yet ought to be actualized.” -Viktor Frankl
Viktor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor and psychotherapist, wrote about his experiences in the book Man’s Search for Meaning. Early in his concentration camp experience, he was separated from his beloved wife. He learned from his experiences first hand that “He who has a why to live can bear with almost any how.” His transcendent love for his wife gave him hope and purpose in continually enduring the overwhelming burdens placed on him.
I am glad to continue to uncover my capacity to love myself, to love others, and to allow others to love me.
