Have you been feeling unhappy in your relationship? Or even just feeling that your partner doesn’t show enough love to you? Most of us experience these feelings at one time or another in our relationships. If we are honest with ourselves, it is easier to look at our partner and figure out what he or she is doing/not doing to contribute to the problem. However, we’ve probably all experienced the disappointment of trying to force someone else to change. Most of the time it just doesn’t work. If we look within ourselves to see what we have contributed to the problem, we have more power to change the situation. If you want to make a positive impact on how much love you feel in your relationship, here are a few questions to begin asking yourself.
Do I feel worthy to be loved?
Sometimes negative experiences in the past or our own insecurities contribute to a feeling of being unworthy. This can get in the way of feeling loved even if our partner is trying to offer it. Ask yourself, “Do I believe that I deserve love and acceptance just the way I am right now?” If not, begin working toward more self-acceptance and exploring what it is that you feel makes you unworthy. This would be a great conversation to have with your partner.
What is it my partner needs in the relationship?
It can be difficult to think of your partner’s needs when you feel your own needs aren’t being met. However, this is one powerful way you can improve your relationship. If you don’t know what your partner’s needs are, talk about it. Explore with each other and figure out ways you can show love to your partner. Then, begin doing something small that is meaningful to your partner every day. Do this with the intent of showing love, not to get something in return. However, many individuals I have worked with have seen their partner respond in positive ways when they choose to give love without demands or expectations.
Am I noticing the good?
When we are feeling unloved and unhappy in our relationships, our brain shifts into a negative mode and sometimes the bad is all we see. It takes a conscious effort to notice the small positive things our partner does or the times we feel loved. If we begin to take notice of these things, our attitude can change and the way we feel can improve. Make an effort to tell your partner what you notice. When the good they are doing is noticed, they are much more likely to continue it.
If you find yourself frustrated and feeling that the love in your relationship is missing. I encourage you to empower yourself by looking within and changing the things that you have control over. Even if your partner doesn’t change, you have the power within to make your own changes and feel more loved.
