Routines suit us as human beings. They make adults productive. They help children feel safe and provide the structure needed to thrive. Routines feed marriages and family. Depending on what your routines are, they could be feeding constant nutrients to the family relationships, or simply giving them the snack foods of non-sustainability. In other words, just because you have a routine, doesn’t mean that it works.
Its back to school time again. This brings a great opportunity to take stock of the routines in your family. Many families are anxious for school to begin again. They are yearning to settle into the comfortable structures of work, school, activities, dinner, and bedtime. These basic routines become the bedrock of the family interactions and structure. Having one of these basic functions out of whack can significantly hurt your family. Families who struggle to manage the basic routines may find their children acting out, their marriages neglected, or their work and school performances suffering.
If you are struggling with these basics, talk with your family about how to help create a successful routine. A few areas to consider are:
Creating a routine around exchanging children between two homes. Where will it be? When? Will the children take any of the same familiar objects with them to both homes? If both parents will not agree to share routines, which routine can your household uphold to help your children get back into the swing of things?
Creating a bedtime that can be counted on. This applies to children and adults. Research shows how important sleep schedules are. Pick a time to wake up and a time to sleep. Stick to it!
Creating a sense of physical well-being that can be counted on. Many families feel they do not have the luxury of home cooked meals and daily exercise. Because of this, one of the first areas we neglect as our lives as we get busy is our physical bodies. Commit to a minimum of exercise. Brainstorm with your whole family about how to make sure nutritious food is eaten at breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
Work and school routines that will increase productivity and ensure completion of assignments. For working professionals there are constant routines in our day to day activities. Take stock of your daily routines and focus on a few behavioral changes which can help you accomplish what you must.
Parents know that getting children to and from school can be difficult. Getting them to do their homework can be even more difficult. Creating an afterschool routine for their chores, dinner, homework and bedtime is essential for any child. Consider how to create or improve your current routines. One tip to consider is that research shows that children learn best after 12 minutes of increased oxygen to the brain. Consider an after school routine which allows movement and activity before homework.
Beyond the basics of functionality to happiness:
Even though we love routine, we little humans can fail to create routines that move beyond functionality. Essential for every marriage are the routines of date night, alone time, and built in connection time. Most couples readily acknowledge that their marriage could benefit from more time, shared activities, or ANY opportunity to connect. If you can acknowledge this with your partner, put your heads together to create routines you know are essential to thrive and not just function.
Generally, parents can find hours of conversation regarding their children and fail to discuss their own lives. To be able to do this, you need to be living your own lives. Adults need routines of self-care. Sometimes this means pursuing your hobbies, taking time to relax, or learning something. Other times, it means valuing the self-care time that comes in 5 and 10 minutes increments throughout the day.
Battling resistance:
More than likely, as soon as you started to read about routines, you thought of a few you wish you were more diligent in following. Take five minutes right now to write down a few routines you believe your family needs. When you present these routines, you may be met with resistance from your children, co-workers, or even your spouse. When you explain your plans, do your best to explain why you think the routine is needed. Explain the end result of having the routine or not having the routine. Ask for your family’s help and ideas about creating and maintaining the routine. Find ways to make it fun and motivating. Consider using a visual schedule or cue to help your family expect the new routine. Sooner than you realize, they might be the ones reminding you.
