Most relationships at one time or another go through difficult times. While it’s important to address concerns, it can become destructive to the relationship when the focus on the negative outweighs the positive. Relationship expert and researcher, Dr. John Gottman, has found a “magic ratio” of positive to negative interactions in successful marriages. His research shows that for every one negative interaction, a couple should have five positive interactions. It may seem difficult to think of five times as many ways to interact positively with your partner, but it’s not as hard as is seems. Here are some ideas to get you started:

Smile at your partner
Give a sincere compliment
Hold his or her hand
Offer a hug
Leave a note in their car
Bring your partner a special treat or drink
Reminisce about fun, romantic, funny or happy times with your partner
Send them a text at work just to let them know you’re thinking of them
Meet for lunch during the work week
Laugh together
Give your partner a back rub
Say something nice about your spouse in front of friends or family
Remind your partner why you fell in love with him or her
Talk about future goals and aspirations

Increasing the number of positive interactions you have with your spouse may seem like a simple thing or you may think you already do that. However, as time goes on and life becomes busy and stressful, the simple things often get neglected. When these simple things are neglected and then something more serious happens in your relationship, there won’t be enough positive emotional energy in your reserve to weather the storm. On the other hand, if you are consistently making an effort to interact positively with your partner, you will create a stronger, more secure foundation to work through difficulties.