You have most likely heard the saying, “opposites attract.” Often in the beginning of a relationship, we are attracted to traits we wish we had but might be an area of weakness for us. Sometimes this attraction is even subconscious. Many times, these opposite traits can be complimentary in a relationship. For example, I often take life too seriously. When I am feeling overwhelmed or stressed, my husband is good at making me laugh. From the day we met, I have valued my husband’s sense of humor and I benefit from it often in our relationship.

There are times, however, when couples get stuck on the fact that they have many differences. This can cause the focus of the relationship to take a more negative shift. It can be frustrating when your partner doesn’t do or see things the same way you do. In spite of this frustration, if you begin to think how your differences may be used to help or compliment each other, you will notice an improvement in how you feel about your partner. Thinking this way may take some stretching and creativity, but it’s achievable.

If you want to make a shift in how you see the differences in your relationship, I encourage you take a challenge this week. First, think about your strengths and your partner’s strengths. Make an effort to utilize your strengths to help your partner. For instance, you could use your organizational skills to plan a project that you’ve both been wanting to start around the house. Then, take time to think about the strengths your partner has and express your appreciation for the ways you’ve benefitted from them. You might say, “I love how you can stay calm when things don’t go as planned. It helps me feel more calm when I would usually get stressed.” As you focus on the ways you and your partner complement each other, your love and appreciation for your spouse will increase.