Many people come to therapy feeling stuck in their problem with hopes that they can get some movement or change with whatever is distressing. Couples get in the same patterns of arguments and feel they need a confidential, non-emotionally-heightened person to help them get out the negative cycle. Some parents are trying to reach their kids, but they find that their kids are more responsive if a non-biased 3rd party gives the feedback until the parent-child relationship can heal and the child is more receptive to the parent’s feedback. So, they give therapy a try.
Two Approaches to Therapy
There are several therapists that take the expert role with their clients. They teach a lot of skills and give a lot of advice. They try to lead the client with their best clinical judgment where they feel that the client needs to go to get relief. If the client buys into what they are saying, they may find that implementing the therapist’s interventions and judgment that they get just the results they were hoping for. However, if the client feels misunderstood or is not willing to go where the expert therapist invites them, they are less likely to implement the ideas and reach their goals.
I honestly believe that my client’s have the answers. As their therapist, I become the learner about their experience and an invited guest into their culture and dilemma. I do not presume to be the expert on their lives or where they need to end up. My expertise is in helping them tap into their own truth and help them to be responsive to what they learn about themselves. Instead of leading my client, I teach them skills to increase self-awareness and increase confidence about them knowing the answers. With their increased awareness and confidence then I follow them where they know they need to go and my role is to help them feel safe trying to get there. With this approach, I am confident that my clients will end up finding the relief that they so desperately need and the skill set to do it repeatedly on their own.
If you are looking for help in resolving your dilemma and choose to give therapy a try, ask your therapist’s approach to therapy. Be aware if your therapist is leading you or following you. With either approach, if you like your therapist and think that they can help you, you are automatically 30% more likely to reach your goals.
