The National Institute of Mental Health Disorders reports that anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in America. Anxiety disorders, including Generalized Anxiety, OCD, Panic Disorder and PTSD, affect 40 million adults in the U.S. It is likely someone who know and love or even yourself may be dealing with an anxiety disorder. Studies have demonstrated that strong social support can have a significant influence on the physical and mental well-being of someone struggling with a mental illness. However, it can be difficult to know how to help. Here are a few tips to get you started.

1. Educate yourself. Learn about anxiety so you can have more understanding and empathy toward your loved one. Often from the outside, anxiety can appear to be irrational and difficult to understand. It is important to know that there is a “hiccup” in the brain that is causing the anxiety and you can’t “reason” it away. In fact, trying to convince the person to just stop worrying will most likely make the anxiety worse and will cause your loved one to feel less emotionally safe with you. Instead, find some reliable sources to learn about the ins and outs of anxiety.
2. After you have educated yourself on the basics of anxiety, sit down and ask your loved one to explain the best they can their own experience of anxiety. Your job is just to listen and try to understand, not judge or problem-solve.
3. Use empathy. Many people are afraid that if they validate or empathize with their loved one, they will reinforce the anxiety and make it worse. However, the opposite is true. Even if you know their fear or worry is not rational, try to empathize with what the person is feeling not what they are thinking. Offer empathic statements like, “It must feel scary to have those thoughts,” or “It seems like you whole body is reacting to the worries you have. Are you feeling tense?” These type of statements show a desire to understand and support your loved one. Empathy will build trust and connection.
4. Exercise self-care. Maintaining a relationship with someone who suffers from anxiety can be difficult. Make sure you take time for yourself to do things you enjoy and be aware of the way your loved one’s anxiety is affecting your mental and emotional well-being. Don’t be afraid to be supportive but at the same time set healthy boundaries.
5. Get help. Social support can greatly improve the outcome for treatment of mental illnesses. So seeking help from someone who knows how to strengthen the relationship as well as treat the anxiety is vital. A trained marriage and family therapist will know how to help you, the supporter, as well as the one suffering from the anxiety. The therapist will be able to help you recognize other ways you can support your loved one, take care of yourself and treat the anxiety.

Your loved one is fortunate that they have you in their lives. As someone with anxiety myself, I appreciate the people in my life who have been supportive and understanding. As you begin to learn how to support your loved one, your relationship will grow and become stronger.