Have you ever been hurt by someone you love? We all have on some level, but when there is a loss of trust because of deception, working to regain that trust can be an emotionally difficult journey to take. The good news is that there is hope. We can heal from such struggles if both parties are invested in healing from this hurt. Let’s look at some important tips to help when trust is lost.

1. It is essential that the offending partner be willing to be completely accountable for their choice to deceive. This means owning what they did, not blaming someone else for their actions and apologizing effectively. How they say these things will be just as important as what they say.
2. Be an open book. If you have deceived another, be willing to let your partner know who you talk to and when you do it. This means letting them look at your social media, emails and even your phone if they need to. Your need for “privacy” after a deception will only feel to your partner as another reason to distrust.
3. Patience is an absolute. See trust rebuilding as a process. That means that there will be ups and downs, progress won’t always be steady and smooth but patience by both will go a long way towards regaining the trust you both desire.
4. If you are the offending party, allow your partner to express their feelings about the deception. The feelings that they share may not be what you want to hear but this opening up is essential to allow both parties to move past the hurt.
5. Lastly, it is important for the one who deceived to self-reflect on why they lied in the first place. Once you understand this better then you’ll need to have a plan in place to help you avoid falling into the same trap in the future.

Obviously, the best way to avoid a loss of trust is to avoid deception in the first place. If, however, this is an issue in your relationship, know that it can improve and there is hope. If you feel that you are unable to work this out on your own, seek help from a licensed and experienced therapist.