Most children worry from time to time. Some children worry more than others. It can be difficult when you find your child worrying often but don’t know how to help. There are a few simple ways to start helping your child deal with his or her anxiety.

1. Teach your child what anxiety is. Anxiety is a feeling and it serves a purpose. It helps us get out of dangerous situations. The problem is that some people’s brains recognize situations as dangerous more than others. Help your child to recognize the physical and emotional signs of anxiety and help her label it. Sometimes my daughter says to me, “Mom, my belly hurts.” Often I ask her if she is worried about something. She is usually able to identify the worry and then we talk it through.
2. Validate the feeling. Many times, as parents, we dismiss our children’s fears and anxiety. It is common for a parent to say, “There’s nothing to be afraid of.” We mean well when we say this, but this statement not only discounts the child’s feelings, it gives them the message that you don’t understand what they are feeling. Even if your child’s fear is not based in reality, allow your child to talk about the fear or worry and offer empathic statements. Just validating the feeling and helping your child feel understood won’t make the fear go away, but it will help the intensity of the feeling decrease significantly.
3. Teach your child some relaxation techniques. Giving your child tools to soothe the anxiety will empower him. There are many ways to self-soothe. Do some exploring with your child and find what works best. Deep breathing or focusing on a certain sense (listening to music, smelling something soothing, wrapping up in a soft blanket) are a couple of effective strategies. One of my kids’ favorite way to relax and go to sleep is guided imagery. I have taught them to develop a detailed peaceful place in their mind that they can imagine and explore to calm their thoughts at the end of the day.

Knowing your child is worried or stressed can be difficult on you as the parent. Often an anxious child can become clingy or overly dependent on their parents in an attempt to soothe their anxiety. You can be a calming resource for your child, but also begin giving them tools to learn how to identify their feelings and cope with the anxiety. You will be giving them the gift of empowerment.