I love to rappel. It gives me a feeling of freedom when I get to bounce playfully down the sheer rock face and have a sure feeling of trust that I am safe despite long distance to the ground. It is empowering because of the perceived risk. Those who do not understand the equipment and belaying process have a harder time feeling safe and are generally unwilling to risk feeling vulnerable to their bodies’ natural fear and fight-or-flight response. Because I know I am safe, it is exciting to take a risk and feel good about accomplish hard things. This same feeling of freedom and empowerment can come from intentional risk-taking in an emotionally safe relationship.
Have you ever been in a relationship where it was safe to take emotional risks? You felt empowered and excited to open yourself to give and receive freely. Here are 3 signs that you are in an emotionally safe relationship:
- You Make Time and Give Space
When many things demand for your time, you make it a priority to spend time with your loved one. You want to continually know them better. As you get to know them you give space to welcome all parts of them. As they feel your non-judgmental attitude and feel understood it is natural for you both to feel freedom to share personal feelings and resulting in mutual validation.
- You Have Permission
You feel empowered to bring up and discuss difficult topics. You know that despite differences of opinion and challenges that you face, you trust that together you can work things out. In an emotionally safe relationship, there is an underlying feeling of love and respect despite the problems. It is permissible to have negative emotions and discuss them and doing so builds the relationship stronger.
- Your Body Will Tell You
When you feel safe, your body will manifest somatic signs of comfort. These are warmth, joy, expansion, relaxation, connection, or peace. Trust your body when you feel your heart rate slow, you breathe freely, and feel energized. Physical affection is an expression of the love that naturally follows when you feel in emotionally safe. These are all signs that the body sends to reassure you that you have safety and freedom to take emotional risks.
Taking risks can be frightening at first, but you can feel empowered by the safety of your equipment and relationships. If there are other signs that indicate that you are not feeling emotionally safe it is important to respond to these feelings just as intentionally until you can feel safe again. One of the best ways to build emotional safety is to communicate to your loved ones in your words and total person the healing messages: I am here; I hear you; I understand; and I care.
