As the new year begins, it offers the time-old tradition of setting resolutions. You might resolve to exercise more, learn a new skill or talent, be more diligent in something, eat better, or get enough sleep. We set these goals to save our health, save our happiness, and to save our potential. All of these are worthy goals. However, the goal that may have the most lasting impact on your long-term happiness and health may actually be focusing on saving your marriage.
“Does my marriage need to be saved?”, you might ask. Perhaps your marriage feels beyond saving. Perhaps it feels healthy. Or, perhaps it just feels ok. No matter the state of your marriage, there is always room to focus on improvement. Most couple relationship problems I counsel couples through started years before they came to get marriage counseling. The problems started small, and likely felt insignificant at the time. However, small problems if left un-checked may develop into larger problems that have deep emotional impacts.
You can remedy this situation right now. Instead of or in addition to your typical resolutions, resolve to save your marriage now. Work on those little problems you contribute to your relationship. Be honest with yourself about what you can do better. Focus on why you married your spouse. Think of the reasons you fell in love. Let those feelings of love motivate you to be better for the person you made the commitment to. That is what commitment is all about – committing because you made a commitment. Let that motivate you to be better for them. Resolving to do this today can prevent future problems and pain.