If you were taught similar things to most people, you probably grew up believing that the world was simply divided into good and bad and right and wrong. And if you were to lift the cover on yourself, you will find a “shoulds list” that you have probably never accomplished, living a life full of holes, and dark moments you believe you will never be able to fill.
Some people don’t want to lift the cover because “what they do not know does not hurt them”, and besides, “they are fine the way they are” Some other people do not lift the cover because they do not know that there is a cover and do not know there is anything to them except what they see, or hear or what other people tell them. Lifting the cover is all about discovering the unknown about oneself. All the secrets, yearnings, and fears of one’s inner self. This, often feels like a Pandora’s box, which, once opened, may contain a new world of possibilities. Once the barriers of negative expectations have been dealt with, we can decide to take the risk to look and make amazing discoveries.
In my work with couples and individuals, I have observed that for most people, their intentions are good and reasonable, but life becomes draining, boring and not very pleasant. This may be because they are living in an “emotional jail” without knowing it. Most of us live in that jail because we want to be good, but we surround ourselves with a whole network of “shoulds” that are often incongruent with our real wishes and abilities. This almost always results in a sense of failure, needless frustration, and disappointment.
If you were to accept the fact that your biggest jailers are inside, you could begin the risk of discovering how your thoughts, feelings, body and inner self all work together. Once you have let go of old beliefs that are no longer applicable to your life, you will break out of “emotional jail” and continued growth will be possible. Your energy can then be used to find and explore new possibilities, rather than be wasted defending your old beliefs to make life bearable. Then, you will not be hiding yourself or blaming others. Instead you will feel freedom from your “emotional jail” and an increase in your positive energy. This will allow you to offer others your best self.
My question to you is: are you living in an emotional jail without recognizing it? Have you ever felt unhappy, vague, depressed, waiting for some “magic time” when things can be different, which never seems to come? If this is the case, at Swinton & Associates Counseling, we can help you to gain a new and more insightful perspective. Free yourself!